Donald A. Robinson - Aspiring Author Detailing my journey of fiction writing and the road to publication. Snippets of my current novel and other works will find their way onto these pages.

As promised, I'm back.

I completed the first draft of the alternate opening I discussed in my previous post. Rather than delete my original opening, I am thinking of placing this scene just prior to the current opening.

In this scene, five of the main characters are introduced. These characters are all supporting characters as the master character is introduced in my current opening. Maybe it is a bad idea not to introduce the master character first. Maybe not. I think this new opening will at least circumvent my current cliché opener.

Send me your thoughts on this new scene. Like it? Hate it? Should I add it into the book?

Keep in mind: This is only the first draft of this scene. I have edited out the most glaring of spelling and grammatical issues. Guess that would make this the second draft...

-Donald A. Robinson

“Come on, Melissa. Keep up.”

Melissa stopped. She crossed her arms and glared at Aiden. “I still don’t think this is a good idea, Aiden. We all know there are trolls in this forest. Let’s just wait until morning. It’ll be much safer.”

Turning back with a smile, Quinn embraced Melissa’s shoulders. “It will be okay. Maybe we can find a clearing that is not very far in.”

“If you’re so worried about it, why don’t you just fly to the other side?”

Melissa switched her gaze to Ethan. “And when you get lost, again, who is going to bail you out this time?”

Isaac raised his hands. “Ethan, Melissa, calm down. I don’t wanna go very far into this forest either, but I’m sure it’ll be warmer under the canopy. I don’t know about you guys, but I was freezing last night.”

“I think it’s already starting to freeze. I can hear the leaves and grass cracking from the cold,” said Ethan.

Quinn went pale. “That’s not the grass.”

A pair of gnarled, wood-encrusted hands sprouted from the shadows of the forest. The hands seized Ethan by his ankles. With a sharp tug, Ethan fell. Aiden withdrew his flamberge. Lightning crackled from his blade. A single stroke severed the hands below the wrist.

“See! This is just what I meant,” said Melissa.

Isaac helped Ethan to his feet. Aiden held the heavy blade at the ready. The electric-kissed blade lit up the enclosure. His eyes scanned trees for the aggressor.

“Aiden. The hands are still moving,” said Quinn.

Aiden looked at the severed hands at his feet. The fingers twitched. Once. Twice. The detached wrist elongated. Each sprouted into a new arm. Then a shoulder.

Aiden turned to his friends. “Run!”